Being "With" God

I recently had a moment with God that I would like to share with you.

It was on a Tuesday while I was up on top of an observation tower that is about 8 blocks from my home. The tower is part of a small nature preserve that includes the tower and an educational trail. The tower and the trail symbolize for me the rhythm of life. There are times when a person must be on the move walking down their daily trail. And there are other times when a person needs to stop their regular activities to pray, reflect and see life from a broader perspective.

As part of a spiritual renewal and study leave, I had been reading, praying, writing and thinking about my role in the church and my life as a follower of Jesus. One of the things I was really contemplating was the meaning of being “with” God. The Bible has many references where God said, “I am with you.” Often those references include the encouragement to not be afraid because God was with the people. (Joshua 1:3)

The day before being up on that tower I had been driving across Iowa on Highway 20. I stopped at Meyers Lake Park near Waterloo to eat a Subway sandwich. The park included a walkway to an island with a statue and several gazebos. I went to explore and found that the island was a memorial to people who had been murdered. Each gazebo had a plaque with a picture and story of the person who had been killed. It was heart breaking. One gazebo honored a little girl and next to it was a bench with her picture on it. On the bench were two lilies in individual water vials. One was a bit wilted as if it was a few days old. The other was fresh enough that it must have been placed there that day. Somebody had been there as a way to be “with” that little girl.

I have family members who live in different parts of the world. It feels like I am with them whenever we talk over the internet or when I read their letters or emails and even when I am just thinking about them. I also have families and friends who have died. In some ways it still feels like I am “with” them when I think about them and sense their presence still having an impact in my life. Paul writes in the Bible how he could be absent from someone in the flesh, but he could still be with them in spirit. (Colossians 2:3)

The thought came to me on that tower: so God must be “with” me in that very moment. Did I believe it? Yes, with my mind I could affirm the concept that God was always with me. But was I aware of God being with me in the moment? Did I feel that God was with me? I hadn't thought of it like that before. God was already there with me even if my mind was elsewhere and I wasn’t "with" God.

The implication for my ministry was that there have been times when I have been afraid of the outcome of a situation when things were going poorly. As a district superintendent in the United Methodist Church, I have felt the weight of responsibility thinking that it was up to me to fix problems and make things go well. I want churches to succeed and I want people to like me, and there have been times when neither one of those things happened.  The fear I experienced in those times came from the reality that I was depending only upon my own knowledge and abilities.

A vision for my ministry is to lead a group of people who are helping each other to see Jesus so that together we can become more like Jesus. To accomplish this I must always remember that Jesus is with me (Matthew 28:20) and my task is to be with Jesus. Then I can be a part of what God is doing to save this world. The lesson that I continue to learn is that my actions cannot guarantee a certain outcome. Since I can’t control what happens, I realized that the constant question I should ask is, “OK, God, in light of the current situation, what do you want me to do now?” (James 4:3-15) I have to trust God with the outcome knowing that I am fallible and will make mistakes. But I don’t need to be afraid because God has promised to be with me. The question is whether I will choose to be with God. There is strength, peace and joy when I do.

With that thought I was ready to climb down the tower and hit the trail again. When was the last time you were with God?