Trusting and Safe Relationships

Our nation is coming to the conclusion of a long and painful political process. Two major themes of this presidential campaign have been issues of trust and safety. Which leader can earn the trust of the voters? How can people feel safe in their homes and daily lives?

One of the things that has been troubling about this election is the degree to which the political campaigns have demonized those with whom they disagree. I feel that this adds to our overall anxiety as a nation when people feel that the other side is so evil that we cannot live together in safety. Both sides have valid points to consider. Both sides need each other to prevent from sliding down into an extreme position so intolerant that it does not listen to anyone with a different viewpoint.

It is time to bring healing to our nation by beginning with ourselves. I recently read a helpful resource entitled, The Seven Habits of Highly Depolarizing People by David Blakenhorn. But God is the ultimate resource for us to find the safety of trusting relationships. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9). Jesus has shown us what a trusting and safe relationship looks like. It grows out of our connection and love for God that is reflected in our connection and love for our neighbors. Jesus could eat with sinners and tax collectors (Luke 15:1-2). And beyond just tolerance, Jesus taught us to even love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48).

While the impact of our governmental leaders is important, all of us face the issues of trust and safety in our personal relationships. Will we be a person that others can trust? Can we act in such a way that other people feel safe around us even if we disagree? As a pastor there have been times when I disagreed with people in my congregation. My goal was that they would know that if they died and I conducted their funeral, that I would do a good job. That means that in their moments of vulnerability, I would seek their well being and not just see an opportunity for my side to win.

The key is to not to just act like we care, but it is to actually care. It means seeking the mind that was in Christ so that we see others as God sees them. It means helping each other to see Jesus so that we can become more like him.

Think of a person you know who is on the other side from you on an issue. Now think of how you could demonstrate to that person that they would be safe around you. It doesn’t mean that you agree with them, only that you don’t want to harm them, and you would want to care for them as God does so that we can live together as neighbors. Jesus gave his life for that person and wants to have a relationship with them.

Relationships are everything. And trusting relationships where people are safe are a taste of heaven. After a contentious election cycle, we need a time of healing where people feel safe. God has offered this to us in Jesus and we can offer it to each other.