Earning Trust IS the Way Forward

As a pastor, District Superintendent and most of all as a follower of Jesus, I have come to see five levels of how people influence the behavior of others. They are:

Trust. This is the highest level of human relationships and is the essential characteristic of God. We can trust God because God is both light/truth (1 John 1:5) and love (1 John 4:8, 16).

When our relationships with other people are based on trust they seek to be truthful and loving. Trust is built by being together, listening, respect and compassion. When trust is present people feel safe and are willing to let go of control believing they won’t be harmed.

Mutual agreement. It can be difficult to achieve trust. You can’t trust someone that you don’t know. So in the absence of trust a mutual agreement is when two or more parties voluntarily limit their behavior in order to be in a relationship. Government by a constitution is one example and the United Methodist Book of Discipline is another. It must be entered into freely and without coercion. A mutual agreement or covenant can provide a safe environment in which trust can be built. God used a covenant as a means to help humanity move towards a trusting relationship.

Force. In the absence of trust or a mutual agreement, force becomes the next means of trying to influence another person. Force is using whatever means available to get another person to do something they don’t want to do. For example, parents use force on children and children can use force on their parents. Everyone has the potential to use force. The eventual outcome could result in a mutual agreement in order to end a conflict, but often it ends with the victory of one side over another.

Fear. Closely following the use of force is the fear that comes from being dominated or injured by the force of someone else. The fear generated may be out of proportion to the actual power available. This is the method of threats and terrorism. Fear is present when trust is absent and people do not feel safe. If fear is used intentionally to influence and intimidate, it is coercion and oppressive.

Deception. This is the lowest level and most distant from the character of God. When someone intentionally uses darkness to hide the truth as a way to influence others it can be characterized as the work of the devil. We are all capable of it.

As we seek a way forward in the United Methodist Church, I believe that God would have us try to move up in these levels of influence rather than moving down. When trust is earned and other people feel safe, then we can talk openly and honestly about the divisions and seek a way forward. The world needs supernatural examples of how God’s Holy Spirit can enable people to live together even when they disagree (Matthew 5:44). Earning trust is also the first step in making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.

We face challenges as the people called Methodist, but if we seek to follow God’s Holy Spirit, I can see us fulfilling the words of Winston Churchill: “This will be our finest hour.” It begins by each of us seeking to earn the trust of the people around us.